


You came in like a wave when I was (not) feeling alright

by wasbandom



Series: average problems [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Emotional, Fluff, M/M, Marriage, Overdosing, Parenthood, Parents, Regret, Sad, Suicide Attempt, With happy ending, argument, at the end, fight, i don't want to spoiler the rest but i still have to put trigger warnings, married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 16:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14476953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasbandom/pseuds/wasbandom
Summary: Josh knows one thing for sure, he loves his husband very much.Tyler knows for sure, his husband sees him as a burden sometimes.





	1. I'm sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this was written in less than 3 hours. I'm sorry for mistakes. I was listening to sad music and I just wrote and wrote and wrote.

Josh was sitting on their couch in the living room, typing on his computer, trying to get some work done. The past few weeks have been hard on him. Work at the agency was getting too much and people were starting to get fired and he didn't want to be next. So he did everything in his power to prevent it. Long hours at the office, working on the weekend, taking extra tasks from his boss to impress him. Now, Josh always thought he could handle stress well, but he doesn't know that he is totally wrong with that … yet. 

Tyler came around the corner, positioning himself in front of Josh. “Babe?” he asked and crouched down on eye level with Josh. Josh hummed but didn't take his eyes of the computer. 

Tyler put a hand on his knee. “Josh... come on, you have been sitting here for three hours. You have to eat something.” Josh shook his head. Tyler let out a loud sigh that caught Josh's attention. 

“What?” he asked and he knew he came out rude when he saw the look of confusion on Tyler's face. “I-I just don't want you to be stressed.” “I don't, so please stop bothering me.” 

Tyler stood up and nodded at his husband, he made his way to the kitchen and leaned against a counter. 

He could feel this gnawing feeling inside him. The feeling that haunted him as a teenager. 

 

YOURE A BURDEN, TYLER. NOT EVEN YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS YOU ANYMORE. HE HAS TO WORK ALL THE TIME, ONLY BECAUSE OF YOU. YOU'RE RIPPING OF HIS MONEY. IF YOU COULD ONLY GET A JOB.

 

Fresh tears were falling down Tyler's cheek and he tried to fill himself a glass of water, but he knocked it down to the ground. 

A loud crash followed and Tyler could hear Josh approaching him. Tyler crouched down to pick up the broken glass. 

“What the hell happened?” Josh said and he looked incredibly annoyed. 

“N-Nothing, it slipped out of my hands. I'm sorry. I'll clean this up.” Josh growls. “I got it, damn it. Just go, Tyler, before you break something else. As if this is your only job in this house.”

Tyler was surprised. He looked at Josh, with fresh tears in his eyes, but his husband was angrily picking up the pieces of glass scattered across the floor. 

“Wh-what?” Josh's voice grew louder. “I'm so tired of this, Tyler. It's as if I do everything in my power to keep you freaking happy and you just do everything in your power to throw a tantrum.” 

Tyler got up and brushed the tears from his face. “Josh, I know you're stressed, but it's not an excuse to say those things to me. I didn't do it on purpose, it was a damn accident!”. 

“Oh, of course it was. Like yesterday, when the fire alarm went off because of your terrible idea to MAKE GOD DAMN COOKIES EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN'T BAKE. And who was the one having to clean up your mess?Yeah, me! Always me! I'm tired of this. I'm working my ass off and you're acting like a freaking child, Tyler.” 

Josh threw the pieces of glass against the wall barely avoiding Tyler. Tyler gasped. It was awfully silent before Josh realized what he had done. Tyler was looking at him in disbelief. He ran past Josh into the bedroom and locked the door. 

Seconds later he could hear the begging of Josh to let him in. “I'm sorry, oh god, I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't mean it, I'm I'm just so scared, Tyler. I'm scared that I can't take care of you anymore and I love you and I can't loose you, baby. I love you so much, please.”

 

 

Tyler was still sitting on the bed, crying silently. It was quiet. Josh might be behind the door or maybe he's out. He doesn't care much. He only thinks about Josh's words in the kitchen. And how absolutely true they were. BURDEN BURDEN BURDEN BURDEN his mind screams at him and he has the desire to just scream at his mind to shut up shut up shut up shut up.

 

Josh knocked at the door again. “Tyler?, please. You have been in there for 2 hours now. Please, I just want to talk to you, o-or do you want me to call Mark, babe? I can do that, if you're not … not comfortable with me ….” 

 

No response. Josh sighed. “Tyler, I love you. Everything I said is wrong, Tyler. I'm so sorry.” Still no response. Josh leaned in with his ear pressed to the door. Not a single sound.

 

He doesn't know what to do. He tries the door handle, realizing that it wasn't locked anymore. He opened the door slowly and quietly entered the dark room. He saw Tyler's silhouette in the bed, his back to Josh. Josh sighed and slipped next to Tyler under the sheets, but kept a distance to his body.

He couldn't see Tyler's face, didn't know if he was sleeping or not but he tried anyway. “Baby?” No reaction. Josh moved forward wanting to wrap his arms around Tyler's waist, but suddenly Tyler slumped forward, hitting the ground instantly.

Some pill bottles crashed to the ground too, spilling the remaining contents to the ground. Josh rushed out of bed to get to his husband, who was lying unconscious on the ground.

“Oh god, no no no no .. no, please no.” Josh lit up the bedside lamp and sat down next to Tyler, who looked sickly pale. 

“No, no what did you do?” Josh's hands trembled and he cradled Tyler's head into his lap, trying to find a pulse. He didn't find one and now he was panicking really hard. 

“Fuck, fuck.” Josh carefully laid Tyler's head on the ground again and fished for his cellphone. 

“Y-yeah, hi. Eh- I need a-an ambulance, my hus-husband he, oh god. Oh god .. please, he, he overdosed – yeah, okay. Alright. He isn't breathing, what do I do, what – no, no I don't know, no, Please hurry.” 

He ended the call and hugged Tyler's lifeless body. He realized that he was crying now. “I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, why didn't you tell me that it got bad again. Oh god, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. Please Tyler, please don't leave me, I-I can't do this without you.” He sobbed and rocked back and forth, kissing Tyler's forehead.

 

 

Tyler's head was exploding. The pain was making it hard to open his eyes. What happened? He asked himself. He could hear an annoying beeping noise and felt someone holding his hands.

He squinted his eyes to see Josh sitting on a chair, head rested on the hospital bed, clutching Tyler's left hand in both of his.

He looked around the room and remembered what he had done. Tears started to surface and suddenly Josh looked up, realizing that Tyler was awake. He started crying too and took Tyler into his embrace. 

“Thank god, I was so scared, please, please … never do this again, I love you.” He gave Tyler a passionate kiss and took his face into his hands. Tyler was scared to look into his eyes, he shut them and whispered that he was sorry.

“Tyler, please look at me” Tyler hesitated, but obeyed nonetheless. And the first thing that he saw was the heartbreak in Josh's eyes. “I love you, I love you, I love you. We will get through this, we will get you help. I'm going to quit my job, Tyler. Why, why didn't you tell me?”

Tyler sniffed his voice was still raspy. “You were so stressed and I didn't want to both-” “Never, never think that work comes before you. Yes, I was stressed and yes I was scared that I'll loose my job but Tyler, you're my husband, I care for you. I told you the day I married you, that I will forever keep you happy and I'm sorry that I was an asshole, but I love you so much, baby. I can't – I-I can't see you hurt, Ty. Not a-again. Not after everything we've been through.” 

He took Tyler's arms carefully and caressed the inside of his wrists. “He, he told me to do it, Josh. I didn't want to but he will always win. He is stronger than me.” “But we are stronger together.” Tyler nodded sadly.


	2. the long run

5 years later

“Hey baby, ready?” Josh took the cake from Tyler's hands and put it down on the kitchen counter for a second. He took Tyler's shaking hands in his and caressed his skin with his thumb, a gesture to calm him. “I'm scared that they will be disappointed in me.” Tyler said and looked to the ground.

Josh hugged him tightly. “No they will be proud, Tyler. They will see how strong you are, baby.” He kissed the top of Tyler's head and both made their way to the dining room. Josh now carrying the cake.

The boys were already seated at the dinner table, chatting about the next basketball game at school. Josh prepared the birthday cake, lightning the candles and putting it in front of Tyler and sat down next to him, laying his hand on Tyler's knee. “Dad, that cake looks amazing, I wonder who made it.” “Lucas, you bake one time and you think you're the biggest chef in whole Columbus.” “Andy, don't be mean to your brother.” Josh said but couldn't say that without a chuckle. Tyler smiled at his family, looking at the chocolate cake in front of him.

He squeezed Josh's hands under the table and cleared his throat. Josh looked at him and nodded. “So, eh .. before I blow out the candles I would like to tell you something.” Both boys at the table looked at each other, focusing their attention back on their father.

“What is it, dad?” Lucas asked and he sounded scared.

“For, for a long time, long before I knew your father, I-I was not the happiest person. I was kind of the o-opposite, I was scared, sad and I felt lonely for a long time.” 

He took a deep breathe and looked at both his boys. The confusion was still prominent on both their faces. 

 

“I – I was …. I was really, really depressed. In fact … depression was a big thing for me … for a long time. And my coping mechanism weren't the healthiest. I self-harmed and I – I eh, I tried to end it way too often …. when I met J-Josh, I was at the biggest low in my life. 

My parents couldn't get to me. I was sad all the time, as if a weight was sitting on my chest that dragged me all the way down and suffocated me. 

Your father was there. We – we became friends at some point in school, but I tried to push him away. I didn't want to poison him with my way of life. 

But he didn't leave, he was always there for me and I fell in love with him because he was the only one who could make me laugh. 

Every time I had the urge to end it, he was one call away and he was there and held me – and – and he, he saved me, more than one time.” 

Tyler looked at Josh, who was silently crying. He closed his eyes and tried to go on. 

“He proposed to me and I was the happiest man in the world. It felt like all the weight had been lifted from my chest. His love cured me from everything. And it was good. For a long time. But, but it – it didn't last for long.

Four years ago, we got into a stupid fight and I – I tried to overdose. And I knew everything was going to hell again and I didn't want to have the strength to do it again, but I tried. Josh tried. 

And now, having the two of you here now too … I can really say, I am the happiest I ever felt. I have a family now, I love you two so much.” He looked at his two sons, who were crying, too. 

“And I love you, too. Josh, you have giving me the best life I could have ever dreamed of. You make me so, so, so happy.” 

He took Josh's hand and kissed it. “So, what I want to tell you with my story is that if you ever feel like suffocating, your father and me are there for you. Please, be never afraid to come to us, okay?”

He quickly blew out the candles and stood up from his chair to get to his sons. He took them into his arms and caressed the top of their heads. 

“We love you, dad. We're so proud of you.” 

He smiled at them and looked at Josh who mouthed an 'I love you'.

“Okay, it's time for the cake now.” He chuckled and slumped to his seat, cutting the cake. Lucas and Andy smiled and Josh helped him with the dishes.

And from now on he knew …

Not a single thing would take his happiness away again.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not native English speaker/writer, I'm sorry for mistakes.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Have a nice day/night. 
> 
> Love, D.


End file.
